0:00:08 – Barnabas

Hey, welcome to the Curious Curmudgeons podcast. Yes, I am Barnabas Piper, here back again with my co-curmudgeon, Adam Read. It’s very curmudgeonly in here. It is that’s because both of us are coming off of an event which was a blast, but also we’re just at low ebb, so particularly curmudgeonly. 

 

0:00:26 – Adam

Yeah, we’re just a little bit, a little worn out from that, but man, it was great. 

 

0:00:30 – Barnabas

But also we were a little worn out going into this event, because here we are, it’s mid-July at the time that we were recording. This Life since we were last on the mic together has been how shall we say? Chaotic, full, overwhelming, overflowing, eventful. 

 

0:00:48 – Adam

Yeah, full of, full of events. 

 

0:00:50 – Barnabas

Full of lots of events and that, can you know, those are kind of neutral terms, which is good because it covers a spectrum from like on my side. In a single weekend, for example, in late May, we graduated a daughter from high school and we celebrated her graduation the next day and then we went into the hospital the day after that to have a new baby boy. Oh, wow, so it was a very full weekend. Congratulations, by the way. Thank you, yeah, that’s awesome. Getting rid of one kid, adding another child. We’ve netted out to the same number children. 

 

0:01:24 – Adam

So who did you get rid? 

 

0:01:25 – Barnabas

of. That’s not how that works, that’s right. No, my oldest daughter, grace, is heading off to college in a few weeks. You also have one that has graduated and heading off, so that’s the same. 

 

0:01:34 – Adam

We actually graduated our children one day apart. Yeah. 

 

0:01:37 – Barnabas

It was the same weekend. 

 

0:01:38 – Adam

The same week? Yeah, it was. 

 

0:01:40 – Barnabas

And then, but then, while all of that was going on for me, which was chaotic in generally a very good way, you had some chaotic in a lot less good ways. 

 

0:01:56 – Adam

I mean, we’d had a few minor things happen, you know, like we had a house fire. You know that. Just, you know those normal things that happen in the path of life. So yeah, april 7th, we woke up in the middle of the night Well, actually my wife woke up, I should say before the smoke alarm went off. Man, that was pretty amazing. We had a fire in the basement. Got that mom radar, I’m telling you it was incredible. We had a fire in the basement, a hoverboard caught on fire. I guess that’s the thing. 

 

0:02:17 – Barnabas

Now I know. So that’s funny because when those came out several years ago, there were all these warnings of these catch fire and I was just like that’s the kind of stuff people put on Instagram. It’s a lot of scare tactics. I’d be much more worried about concussions than I would fires. 

 

0:02:32 – Adam

Ours was like one that had been sent back to the factory and refurbished and so I didn’t think there was any issue with it. You know what I mean? I never thought this would be a thing and I really that kind of was out of my mind, like that would never happen. But yeah, we woke up to you know smoke on the second floor of the house and got everybody out quickly. There’s just the smoke. I mean it had the basement door was closed, so the fire was in the basement, the basement door was closed. 

 

The smoke had to get so full in the basement that it traveled under the inch or so below the closed door in the basement, that it traveled under the inch or so below the closed door, filled up the main level, went up to the upstairs, got enough in the hallway that it went under our bedroom door and woke my wife up. So you’re talking a ton of smoke and it’s a different type of smoke than, like, a wood smoke, it’s electrical yeah, which is nasty, and like, yeah, it’s just, it sticks to you, like you wash your hands over and over and over and it just it just stays. 

 

so my and I were both transported to the ER for smoke inhalation because his room is at the top of the stairs and his door was open and me because I’m an idiot. Um, I, I just kind of went into that like that Describe idiot. I mean I say idiot and I and people are like don’t say that. You know, like you were trying to and I was trying to do the best thing for my family and, looking back on it, like there was absolutely good intentions and motivations, I wish I would have done it differently. 

 

0:03:56 – Barnabas

So you have a lot of practice navigating fires in your house. I have zero practice, right. So I feel like you’re, I feel like you should be granted a fair amount of leeway on. 

 

0:04:14 – Adam

Whatever actions you’re, I feel like you should be granted a fair amount of leeway on on whatever actions you took, unless it was like you know, we both grew up you know I ran down to the fire and blah, blah, blah. 

 

0:04:23 – Barnabas

We both this conversation since the eighties Like. 

 

0:04:25 – Adam

I have significant health conditions. We’ve talked about that. I have lung conditions. 

 

0:04:31 – Barnabas

I’ve had three lung surgeries Like I say there’s been ongoing lung conditions, there’s been multiple collapsed lungs, and what do I do? 

 

0:04:37 – Adam

instead of going out with the family and the dogs. No, I opened the basement door and I can’t see there is so much smoke in the basement. I literally can’t see the steps going down. Did I turn around? I’m gonna, I’m gonna, guess. No, no, no, I didn’t I was. That’s why I said I was an idiot, because in my mind I’m thinking you are the one who runs upstairs from the axe murderer like why’d you go where you can get it? 

 

0:05:00 – Barnabas

nope, I’m going where I’m trapped. 

 

0:05:02 – Adam

I just in my mind I’m like I still don’t see the flames. And so where’s the fire? Like if something’s smoldering I can still put it out. I guess was what my mind was thinking. But there’s, I’m one of the oxygen level down there. It’s so thick I can’t see, but that never crossed my mind. 

 

I did go down there and I figured out where the flames were and there’s a couple of things I want to share about leading up to putting the flame out. That was just God’s hand of provision in all of this and protection. But yeah, I put the flames out, went outside, but during that whole time of me disappearing back into the house, my wife is outside screaming for me, you know, to get out, and she’s right, like she was a hundred percent right. That’s your conscience. And and I just felt like I, of all the things I could change about that night, like the amount of trauma, if you want to use that word, the level of scaredness, for lack of a better term that that my actions not the fire itself, but my actions created for my family. I should have done that differently and the fire got put out. Our house got saved from further damage, whatever it was out before the firemen got there. I got out, I was okay. They sent me home the same day from the ER, but I would totally change that. But how we saw God even protecting us in all of this, which was really cool, was one that week we had. 

 

Actually, my office is in the basement. I work from home the majority of the time and so I had had all these boxes from doing a project for work and I had all these cardboard boxes stacked up I’m talking like probably a couple dozen boxes, maybe I don’t know Like just stacks of boxes, cardboard and it was Flammable for you listeners, it was like inches from where the fire was and we had that down there and we had just cleaned it out like three days before probably. And during the time of cleaning it out, my son Titus was like oh hey, dad, here’s the fire extinguisher. I just found it. And he’s like where do you want me to put it? And I was like put it right there on that windowsill, so I know where it’s at. So, even though I couldn’t see anything, I got down there and I was like, oh, there’s the fire extinguisher, like I knew where it was. 

 

And so they’re like, if those boxes had been down there, like our house would have probably been gone, and I mean not like completely like gone, but unsalvageable. And it had the fire extinguisher not been there, yeah, you know, it could have been a whole nother difference. 

 

0:07:35 – Barnabas

And I got out without you know saying you guys were in the house much different. 

 

0:07:44 – Adam

Yeah, and so we just praise the Lord for his like going you know, you hear and you read the scripture about God going before you and preparing before you, and in Psalm 139, it talks about God handing you in behind him before. Yeah, Just that. The beauty of we look back on and we’re like man. That could have been so different. It wasn’t fun. It’s still a long road, Are you guys? 

 

0:08:06 – Barnabas

back in your house now we are not. 

 

0:08:08 – Adam

They are like this is the weirdest thing. Like the contractors, like we, we just don’t see smoke travel like this a safe level of carbons like 3.5 or lower. Our attic was 60. So like it’s just off the charts how that smoke traveled through the walls and stuff into our entire house. So we’ll be back in, hopefully next spring, hopefully. 

 

0:08:30 – Barnabas

That is an inconvenience. That’s the best. 

 

0:08:34 – Adam

Yeah, so it’s been a little crazy and all of that, but the Lord has been showing himself in many ways and teaching us a lot of different things, and we can talk about some of those more things. 

 

0:08:44 – Barnabas

One thing that stands out from what you said, and just it caused me to think how rare it is for us to notice things that don’t happen. If you’re a Christian, you ask the Lord to do things and we notice probably not as often as we should when he does them. So I don’t know, maybe your family prayed and prayed that we would sleep well and kind of bless our family kind of thing, and he did, but maybe we don’t even have the capability to see often what he prevents from happening where things could have been worse, absolutely. You know, you notice when you miss a car accident by a hair. You know a car swerves into your lane and we just missed it, but the things that sort of happen around you, behind you, that prevent it. 

 

So you know, I hear you know carbon levels in the attic whatever 20 times normal, yeah, why? Well, it’s probably because the Lord prevented a thing from happening that you couldn’t have described and I just, yeah, I think that is the the Lord’s hand at work, there’s preparing the way before us, and then there’s also just the sort of I think you used the term maybe hemmed in that idea of we sort of sit within this protective reality where things could be so much worse and we just don’t even know what the Lord is keeping us from. There’s a lot of room there for the imagination to run about. What might God be keeping us from? And more reason for thanks, I guess. 

 

0:10:07 – Adam

Yeah for sure, and maybe this is a good topic for discussion. I look at our story and I say God protected us right. And other people look at our story and say, well, god still let the fire happen. You know, and I mean, I understand what people think. You know, I understand that they say, well, you still had a house fire, you’re still out of your house. You know, I understand that they say, well, you still had a house fire, you’re still out of your house. You know, you still were in risk and you’re still, you know, on this long road of recovery. And, uh, you know the various trauma that I created across the family members and all this stuff. The dogs not so much, but, um, the chickens are fine, like they don’t know what thing happened. They’re still out there having a grand old time in the backyard. But yeah, you know, like how do you help someone see that, even though something bad happened, God still had protection in even the hard things? 

 

0:10:54 – Barnabas

Yeah, I think there’s there has to be an element of well, there’s. There’s an element of realism which is it’s not hard to imagine this scenario being deadly, yeah, absolutely being really costly property, health, all those things, and while all, while it wasn’t good, you were minutes away from it being far worse. You were cardboard boxes away from it being far worse, all of those things. So there’s just the element of realism. Where you sit down and you go, it’s very clear that the Lord prevented a tragedy and instead we have somewhere ranging between inconvenience and mild disaster, which is that’s manageable. Then the other thing is just the realization that it is profoundly arrogant and we are all this way, so this isn’t taking potshots at any particular person. 

 

It’s profoundly to tell God what he should have done without a total awareness of what he did, and we can’t have that. So all of the things that the Lord was arranging both on that night and all of the time leading up to it. So we’re talking, I mean, let’s just, let’s just rattle off areas that he was working in here. So we’re talking the arrangement of your house, as we already discussed. We’re talking, let’s just, let’s just rattle off areas that he was working in here. So we’re talking the arrangement of your house, as we already discussed. We’re talking about the construction of your house. Uh, we’re talking about, uh, the senses of your wife to be attuned to what’s not quite right here. Uh, we’re talking about the, the repairs on the hoverboard maybe they could have done a worse job and it would have burned worse, I mean. And then we’re talking about the hearts of your family. 

 

So you have a unique capacity, because of everything you’ve been through prior, to respond faithfully to difficulty. Life has not been just all peaches and roses and puppy dogs for y’all for the last several years, which means that you have a deep resource, pool of pool of you know things to draw on when it, when it’s not good and that’s just off, like that’s just me scratching, that’s just me scratching the surface, if you know, I’m sure that there you know firefighters and EMTs and medical professionals and neighbors and whoever else was involved in this y’all have a place to live now. Well, the Lord lined some things up so that, in advance, there would be a place for you to go and, and, and, and, and and and so to sit here and say God could have done X. That I mean hypothetically, sure, but let’s not be so arrogant as to think that we had a better handle on the situation than the Lord did? 

 

0:13:32 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely, and I think what you said is really true. We have seen God work in my children, which you know as a parent. Like when you have the opportunity for your kid’s eyes to be open and see some aspect of God’s character displayed through the people of God, or through situations like you can’t really create those moments those moments and don’t try, that would be bad, that’d be bad. Like you can’t really create those moments, those moments, and don’t try, that would be bad, that’d be bad. Those are just things that happen in life and you get to be this kind of stand back and just praise God that your children got to see those things, because it changes who they are and how they see God. There’s been so many of those things you know we had. We got to church Well, the fire was a Sunday morning, so I wasn so many of those things you know we had. We got to church well, the fire was a Sunday morning, so I wasn’t at church that day, I was in the ER. 

 

But the following Sunday we got to church and we’re like we’re not sure what we’re doing. We’re meeting with our discipleship community in the morning and we’re like we don’t know what’s next, like we don’t know where we’re staying. Our daughter’s graduating. We were going to have our party at our house. Like we can’t do that anymore. You know, we don’t know how we’re going to. We’re going to make the food, like we don’t have location, we don’t have any of this and we’re just like just kind of talking through what the future is and what we’re trying to figure out and, you know, someone comes up. They’re like okay, we’re going to do the catering for you, we’ll help handle this. You know, got another family come up. They’re like oh, we just, you know, independently, my husband and I, we heard about it and we both thought you got to have the party at our house, you know. 

 

So all these people coming together, you know, and people obviously providing, you know, food, helping move stuff, providing for monetary needs I mean, we got out of there. We had nothing. Like we literally it’s like okay, what do you need for tomorrow? You need a toothbrush. Okay, you need underwear and clothes and hair supplies. You need all the basics. You need shoes. 

 

0:15:10 – Barnabas

Real quick. Was that stuff ruined in the house or you just didn’t have access to it at that point? 

 

0:15:14 – Adam

Immediately we didn’t have access to any of it. All that stuff had to be cleaned. We probably have 15% to 20% of what we originally started with that survived, so yeah, we have very small portion left. Thankfully, most of our clothes were eventually. About a month later we got a month and a half. 

 

0:15:32 – Barnabas

We got like a special cleaning process. I’m getting nerdy here, I’m just curious. 

 

0:15:35 – Adam

Yeah, there’s some sort of some sort of special cleaning process. They had to put them all through and to get the you know, hopefully get all the smell out of them. So, yeah, so it was just like you see all these people coming together to support you and while in the like, in the moment, you’re like, it’s just kind of like all these things thrown at you and you’re trying to take it all in and and all these people are coming alongside you to make it happen and it’s a beautiful thing. It’s not till you kind of get. I don’t think for me anyway, it’s not till I kind of get past it and I can look back and say, wow, like, look at how God wove all that together. And I think in my, in my family’s life it may be for some of us, you know, 10, 15, 20 years, even before you see aspects of how some of this works out and who they are and how they love other people. 

 

0:16:19 – Barnabas

Yeah, oh absolutely and exactly the thing that came to mind there. You know, as an outsider hearing this, you know and I’m not part of your church, but the Are you part of a church? I’m part of a church yes. I’m part of the big C church and I’m part of another local church, not your church. 

 

0:16:35 – Adam

I’m just giving you a hard time. 

 

0:16:36 – Barnabas

But as soon as you started describing that, I just was internally just kind of well, absolutely, this is what a healthy church does. And I think if the exact same kind of thing happened to a family at Emanuel, where I go, that’s exactly how people would respond. People are basically chomping at the bit to serve others, and there are people who get like geeked up about needs because they’re like you know, I I just want to be able to do more. And here’s an opportunity to care for a family, to meet some needs, to host a party, to do some catering I love cooking for others, we have space, all of these kinds of things and so they fold it in and that that is a. That’s just sort of a tiny little snapshot of the, of the way that the body of Christ works. 

 

And the thing that jumped out at me most was just thinking about your kids. The bar just got raised for them in terms of what a real church looks like, so that someday they’re gonna make their own choices about what church to attend and what to be part of, and they should have that kind of expectation. Does this church resemble Christ’s love in that way? And they now know that. They don’t know that, they know that maybe they haven’t thought through it that clearly, but they’re going to go into a church somewhere and they’re going to go. Oh, this passes the smell test. These people resemble the love of Christ Kind of pun intended there Smell test? 

 

No, but it was a pun unintended, which just means I’m just on it today. 

 

0:18:08 – Adam

Yeah, so yeah, I mean it’s a beautiful. I remember one guy. He’s like they live down the road from us. His name is Brian. He’s like hey, you know, like come use our basement. Like we got a shower down there. We lived in a camper on a driveway for like two and a half months Cause we thought we were going to be out for three. We’ll make it work. You know, 225 square feet for five of us and two dogs. It’s been interesting. 

 

And he’s like just come use our shower. You know we got towels and we got a ping pong table. And he just writes me all these funny messages like come, you know the ping pong table, you get down there. He’s got like little sticky notes on stuff with little messages that are like hey, use me, I’m here for you, you know. And it’s just funny, you know, just so sweet and loving. And of course, you know the people where I work, positive Alternative Radio, like they have been. They showed so much love to me and my family during that time too, and made fun of you a lot too. 

 

And made fun of me a lot. 

 

0:18:55 – Barnabas

Which is also a sort of familial love. Let’s be honest. 

 

0:19:06 – Adam

Yes, it is. And you know the people that make fun of me. I know they. They love me too and you know, you know Brian. I mean he literally pretty much, if not every day, asked me hey, how’s it going? What do you need? You know where are things at and just follows up and just shows God’s love, um, in a very real way. So super, super thankful for all that’s. You know the big C church, uh, in a different way, through the organization that I get to work for, you know, just loving me as Christ would love. So, yeah, it’s just so neat to see so many ways that God’s showing love through all of this and how he’s providing and preparing us and stretching us in certainly, many ways it’s not been all easy. 

 

0:19:37 – Barnabas

No, certainly not. You know, physical loss is a unique kind of difficulty. Suffering loss is a unique kind of difficulty, suffering things like that. But it’s also the kind that most allows the church to come around you. If you’re in a spiritual crisis or a relational crisis, it’s pretty limited what people can do for you. They can pray for you, they can befriend you and there’s a small number who can sort of speak into it. But when you suffer physical loss, you kind of get to see the more expansive body at work, because you know anybody can drop off a meal or send you a gift card or you know a lot of people have space for you and those kinds of things, and so it feels like a different sort of manifestation of the love of God shown through his people. Um, that does take what has been not easy and and kind of offers a different view into, into how God is working through it. 

 

0:20:34 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely A hundred percent. And yeah, we definitely learned a lot. It’s been a it’s been an interesting road. You know we’ve had some great funny stories through it. You know, like the, the sewage line from the camper getting all clogged up and three inches of. You know sewage going, going everywhere inches of what uh toilet paper and everything else uh just spewing out as I’m holding it, trying to get it. Yeah, I mean I’m just picturing. 

 

0:21:00 – Barnabas

Have you seen the movie Christmas Vacation? 

 

0:21:02 – Adam

uh, I think I’ve seen pieces of it. I don’t have ever seen the whole Christmas Vacation. I think I’ve seen pieces of it. I don’t know if I’ve ever seen the whole thing. 

 

0:21:05 – Barnabas

Well, yes, the cousin Eddie I can’t quote it because this is a family-friendly show but pumping it down the drain, it’s a classic scene. If you haven’t seen the movie, you’ve probably seen it anyway. We have to pump it uphill. 

 

0:21:20 – Adam

We don’t have a downhill, and that in itself there’s a downhill. Well, I mean there is, but we’re the. Yeah, anyway, you are at the bottom. We are at the bottom side of that hill and uh, man, it’s funny now, but at the time after gallons and gallons, and I mean I have no idea. I mean, and then you’re spraying it all like literally gloving it into bags and bagging it.

 

And yeah, I mean it’s like you’re like this is not what I signed up for. You know like this is just wrong. You’re like this really did hit the fan. But in all seriousness, you know like, so the fire was Sunday. Tuesday we went to the doctor, found out my wife had to have urgent back surgery. Wednesday we got a date. 

 

0:22:04 – Barnabas

I think. 

 

0:22:05 – Adam

Well, Wednesday we went to the surgeon, which thankfully, they got us in quickly. The following Friday she had back surgery and my wife is really healthy, so this was definitely a surprise for us. So in the midst of all of this, we lost everything. We’re displaced, my wife ends up on her back for an extended period of time, oh man, and so it’s just been like one of those things. And then, almost a month after that, I ended up in the ER for what they thought was stroke. They thought I had a stroke, which we’re still kind of in the unsure of what happened. I don’t show any lingering symptoms or anything, so they’re still trying to figure out some medical issues for me, as that’s just ongoing. 

 

0:22:46 – Barnabas

It’s not funny, but it’s just. I feel like. I feel like it’s just sort of like you know how on old school Facebook you could put up a status and it’d be like Barnabas Piper is studying. It would be like Adam Read is experiencing ongoing medical. 

 

0:22:59 – Adam

It’s just the way it is, the way it is Totally, and so also mine was never studying, let’s be real, I’m never marked safe from um and then like, so I had this, it was it’s, you know, still trying to figure it out. I go to Cleveland clinic um here in a few weeks. 

 

0:23:20 – Barnabas

And then I go on a I take my daughter on a senior trip. 

 

0:23:21 – Adam

You took your daughter on a senior trip too, right? That’ll be fun to talk about. And so I get there like the night of, and my wife ends up with some medical complications. This was not immediately after surgery, like she was well recovered from this point, but it’s something else And-. 

 

0:23:32 – Barnabas

Did you guys do New York? Is that where you’re at? 

 

0:23:38 – Adam

Yeah, we did, it was fantastic. And we’re up there and like I’m trying to figure out the night I get there and then I went to the er after that because of my issue. So like we’re on rotation every month and we’re like what is going on here? 

 

0:23:49 – Barnabas

like they just they just have you penciled in they’re like all right, it looks like it’s. Uh, it’s been two weeks. Is there a read coming in? Liar, that’s right like. 

 

0:23:57 – Adam

Is there any bonus here to this at least? 

 

0:23:59 – Barnabas

I was, we were joking about that, not your family, but was got together with some friends. 

 

0:24:03 – Adam

You can joke about my family. 

 

0:24:05 – Barnabas

All of us now have infant to toddler boys and they were like we should probably go to a local urgent care and see if they do bulk discounts. Can we buy bulk visits? Are they like Costco size? Visits, like if you could prepay for them now, before they’re 12?, because they’re like and this room represents I don’t know 800 stitches and a dozen broken bones, and I feel like your family needs the Costco size ER. 

 

0:24:32 – Adam

I will be. I will be honest. It has been several months of a lot of pain and a lot of just like really struggling to trust God. Yeah, and there were some days I’m like I don’t know how much more I can take Cause. Then it’s like or this is the update on the house today, and then tomorrow the update changes and yes, you can, you will get this back children. And then no, you won’t. And just continually breaking hard news and that’s just not something as a dad, you ever want to have to keep doing right. 

 

And I think in this season of my life and I’ve been through a number of difficult things after all my surgeries and everything but I think this is the one season of my life where I have realized the importance of people praying for me more than ever. And I have, I mean, I go through like a really tough day and someone’s like, hey, I was praying for you, you know, and I was like I so needed that and I know the Lord used that because that’s the only reason. You know, god working in me was the only reason I could get up and press on another day, and so just definitely a learning season. I think the biggest, two big takeaways. One is I’m excited to see what God does in our lives through this, especially my children’s lives five, 10 years down the road, because I think there’s going to be some amazing things that I can’t possibly imagine, that are going to be really awesome things that he’s going to bring out of us. The second thing I’m learning, and during this time I’ve gone through Jerry Bridges’ book Trusting God. 

 

0:26:02 – Barnabas

Bridges is great Jerry Bridges’ book Trusting God, yeah. 

 

0:26:03 – Adam

Bridges is great. I just I was listening to a story about. He talks about Joseph, you know, and Joseph goes through I mean way more trials than I ever have. I never sold into well, I never had a brother, but I was never sold into slavery by my sister either. She might’ve tried, I don’t know, but it never worked out. So but yeah, all those things Joseph went through. And you’re like could he makes the point like could God have put Joseph as second in command of Egypt without all those trials? Yeah, absolutely. And the answer is sure he could have right, like it would have been no difficulty for God to manage circumstances for Joseph to be second in command of Egypt without all those trials Right. 

 

0:26:44 – Barnabas

But Joseph was also kind of an entitled brat at like 17 and needed a little bit of tempering refining. You know that was a lot of tempering and refining. You got jail and you got lies and you’ve got sold into slavery. There’s a lot going on there. 

 

0:26:56 – Adam

Forgotten about and all that. 

 

But I think that the point he made is, you know, god was using all those trials to prepare Joseph for the man he wanted him to be, so that, when he placed him as second in command below Pharaoh, that he would be the person he needs to be to lead. Something I’ve clung to like okay, this is God preparing us for whatever he has for us in the future. And all these you know this these last few months have been probably the most chaotic in our marriage, despite all the brain surgeries and everything I’ve had. Like this has just been crazy and just knowing God’s got a plan. He is using this as not a way. Trials never wasted. 

 

0:27:41 – Barnabas

Yeah and I. We may have talked about this on a previous episode, especially the one about suffering, but I can’t remember. There’s a, there’s a reality that has sort of dawned on me over the last few years. Just, you know, you used, you talked about God having a plan. There was a time in my life where I resented that phrase because it felt like the sort of kind of platitude that people put in calligraphy on their wall, Like if somebody quoted Jeremiah 29, 11 to me one more time. 

 

I was gonna choke him with it kind of thing. But the reality that the way that that works out is not happy, like everything becomes a happy ending. It is much more the reality of you look back at your life and there are so many things you say I wish that had never happened, maybe things that you did wrong, tragedies that happened to you, just stuff that was painful for one reason or another, and you go I wish that had never happened. And you look at your life currently and you say but if that hadn’t happened, I wouldn’t be where I am now or who I am now and so and so I would never undo that either and that I think in that is a reality of. I mean, I think a lot of that is sort of the description of redemption God redeeming those things. But that’s what I would when I think about your story and you were in the midst of. I wish that had never happened. 

 

0:28:56 – Adam

I wish this was not happening. 

 

0:28:58 – Barnabas

But because we have confidence that God has a plan. That means you can look ahead and go. Someday I will be able to look back and go. I wouldn’t change what happened because of where it gets you, where it put us, yeah, and again, not necessarily like pinnacle of success or wealth or whatever, as much as just I couldn’t have imagined this life into this life. And so I think if you hold to the idea of God having a plan with that sensibility, it has groundedness to it because it allows you to say this stinks and I wish it wasn’t happening, which is very appropriate. Jesus himself asked God if there was another way out, that if there’s any other way, but also I’ll go your way, and then someday you get to the place of I wouldn’t trade it for anything. Also, I still wish it had never happened kind of simultaneously. 

 

0:29:50 – Adam

Yeah, I love that You’re completely correct. I think, along with that, I’ll be careful how I say this. In our culture, in our understanding of scripture, I think we often have a misunderstanding of what blessing is. I think we think blessing is when things go right. So God’s blessing me, oh, it’s been a great day. Like I had God’s blessing on me. We say, hey, go be blessed. 

 

0:30:20 – Barnabas

Hashtag blessed on every new car and vacation post. 

 

0:30:25 – Adam

And we are to pray for blessing right, like we are to desire that. But blessing is not ease of life, right. Blessing is being changed and molded into Christ likeness. Yeah, and we have to have that change of mindset at some point, because if we just seek ease of life and stuff and things going our way, that’s another way of thing we like to think about is blessing oh, that went my way, that’s what I wanted, like we’re. We’re never going to really understand what true blessing is and we’re going to actually miss out on recognizing when those things happen to us. 

 

0:31:06 – Barnabas

Yeah, I just had a conversation recently. It was just a short exchange, so we had an elders meeting at church. We had some kind of monumental decisions to make for the future of our church and I was very frustrated in that meeting, not at any of the other elders, but regarding some of the circumstances that we were trying to navigate, and I let my frustration be known. No-transcript. Towards the end of the meeting, you know, things sort of came around full circle to a place of unity and a place of okay, this is how we want to proceed together. And it was. It was really uh, it was encouraging. 

 

And one of the other elders, just in passing and sort of his concluding thoughts, just mentioned gratitude for the particular circumstance that I was so frustrated about, and I was it. 

 

I I texted him later and I said my heart is not where your comment is, yeah, but it was like a sanctifying smack in the attitude for me. Yeah, because it reminded me that he just had a perspective of the Lord at work in these things that I had lost sight of and I was purely mad at what I deemed an injustice towards, you know, happening, and he was recognizing that through this injustice, the Lord was at work in a way that I didn’t, and so I thanked him. I said I needed that it was a corrective, and your tenderheartedness and your recognition of God’s work is exactly what I needed in that moment. It was just a small scale, that kind of adjustment you’re talking about, where I felt unblessed and he recognized the Lord’s work as goodness on behalf of his people, and so, yeah, he strengthened me and corrected me in that moment. He wasn’t aiming it at me, he was just sort of speaking from the heart and the Holy Spirit got me. 

 

0:32:47 – Adam

Yeah, it’s so great when God can bring people across your path like that to help just kind of tweak that you know the mindset a little bit and help us to just direct our thoughts towards him and what he is doing, because it is. It is so easy and I I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lost focus in all of this, so I, I mean, yeah, I mean it’s. 

 

0:33:07 – Barnabas

It’s when you’re in the midst of stuff. It’s like hour to hour when, when things are going better, it’s like day to day. In either way, it’s a constant reorienting back to these things Because we’re prone to wander, as the old hymn says. That describes all of us. 

 

0:33:24 – Adam

Yeah, absolutely. We are all prone to wander. They forgot who is long-suffering. Yeah, no, kidding. So I like that hair clip you got there on your microphone. That’s fancy. I didn’t know you were into hair clips these days. Did you get like a mullet or something? I didn’t see. 

 

0:33:38 – Barnabas

You know, just holding onto it should I decide to go business in the front party, in the back? This is how we navigate it. I think I’m using somebody else’s microphone oh, that’s what it is. But also I didn’t even notice this when you pointed it out earlier. You said hair clip and I reached to my head and I was just like hair clips? I don’t know, I have hair clips. I mean, I live in a house largely full of women and so hair clips and hair ties are everywhere. 

 

0:34:01 – Adam

Oh yes, Unless they’re looking for them, in which case they disappear. Do you find those little tiny rubber bands? 

 

0:34:07 – Barnabas

all over the floor. Oh like the ones that look like little braces. Rubber bands. Use those as much anymore, but yes, those are almost like little make you want to burn your house down. Huh too soon. 

 

0:34:20 – Adam

So what’s what’s been going on in your life? Oh, nothing, nothing. Yeah right, classic guy answer a brand new baby, right, baby jack. 

 

0:34:27 – Barnabas

Yeah, so the quick timeline for us. So spring spring break in march, took my oldest daughter on a senior trip yeah, we went. We went west California. Yeah, we went west. Yeah, because I texted you and you’re like I’m on a spring break in March. Took my oldest daughter on a senior trip, we went. We went West California. Yeah, we went. 

 

0:34:36 – Adam

West California. Yeah, because I texted you and you’re like I’m on a spring break with my kid. 

 

0:34:39 – Barnabas

Yeah, so we went. We went driving to flew into San Francisco, sort of a driving tour down the coast. Ended up in San Diego, had a great time. Oh, that’s where I, that’s where I grew up, man San Diego, yeah. 

 

0:34:53 – Adam

San Diego. I mean, I don’t know how anybody affords to live there. 

 

0:34:54 – Barnabas

I don’t either, but I have never failed to enjoy visiting San Diego. I think it’s an amazing city. So we had a blast. We did it in spring break because it was a graduation trip, but we did it over spring break because we knew we had a baby due in June and so summer was going to be a little chaotic. Well, her graduation fell two weeks before the baby’s due date, and so you know, for the entirety of you know, once, once we, once we let people know we were expecting. It was just this rolling joke of like, who knows, you could have a high school graduate and a baby in the same weekend, and we were always like, ha ha, that’s hilarious, we’re not doing that. And so we get, yeah, we get to graduation week and everything’s looking fine, and so we but we had planned a graduation ceremony Friday night, graduation party Saturday, because we just we didn’t want to, we did not want to miss that opportunity to celebrate but, also, if we delayed it at all, we were getting uncomfortable close to due date. 

 

So morning of graduation day my wife just has a standard standard. You know, nearing the end of the pregnancy there’s like weekly checkups. So she has a standard checkup. 

 

Her blood pressure is is unusually high, which in pregnancies, I mean, it’s not good ever, but in pregnancy particularly not great and thankfully, her doctor was very understanding and said okay, I know you have a big weekend, uh, so you just need to keep track of your blood pressure. Uh, if it stays under this threshold, you get to have your graduation party tomorrow and then immediately go to the hospital. Anyway, if it goes above this number, cancel everything and go to the hospital. And so you know, we go to the high school graduation Friday night. Uh, we get home, she checks her blood pressure the next morning and it is just barely under that threshold. And she said well, that’s all I need to see. We’re, we’re pretending that blood pressure doesn’t exist for the rest of the day. We, we throw the graduation party and, uh, you know, so friends from church and friends from school come celebrate. And then, you know, we had, we had at the end of it, nobody would let let Lauren do anything. They’re like you go, sit down, cause at this point everybody knew. 

 

0:36:57 – Adam

You know what that like at our graduation party. My wife had just had back surgery. 

 

0:37:02 – Barnabas

So no one let her do anything either. 

 

0:37:03 – Adam

So we’re on the same page there. 

 

0:37:05 – Barnabas

So I mean, Lauren was pretty active throughout the day but, like at that point, no-transcript, be there an extra couple days because we’re going in earlier than anticipated. Went in Saturday night and you know they induced labor and jack came Sunday, ended up delivering by c-section, not emergency, just because labor wasn’t progressing the way it’s supposed to. You know, mom, mom and Jack are both, we’re both great, and you know so. We’re two months Well at this today, two months tomorrow. He’ll be two months tomorrow. 

 

0:37:49 – Adam

So, and a big, a big thing happened last night. 

 

0:37:53 – Barnabas

Yes, I so, and a big thing happened last night. Yes, so I get a text this morning. I’m up early getting ready to share at the event we were just at and I get a text from my wife and text first thing in the morning. It might be good morning. I love you. How are you? It might be a rough night. Baby cried all night. Thankfully, jack hasn’t done that very often and she goes. Jack slept through the night for the first time and, and she goes. Jack slept through the night for the first time and all God’s people said amen. 

 

0:38:15 – Adam

And all God’s people said amen. 

 

0:38:17 – Barnabas

So hopefully this is a sign of things to come, that he pays special attention to the needs and the emotional condition of his mother and goes out of his way. 

 

0:38:26 – Adam

He knows dad’s out of town. He’s like mom’s carrying all this weight herself taking care of me. Use a little extra margin, just could use a little extra sleep here. Help her out, and he’s just so respectful. Yeah, I mean that’s impressive. How did you manage to teach him all this? 

 

0:38:43 – Barnabas

Well, it’s not genetic, I can tell you that. Well, not from my side, hopefully Probably from. 

 

0:38:47 – Adam

Lauren’s side right. 

 

0:38:48 – Barnabas

Maybe he’s just taking after his mother, who is she’s just a much more respectful and a rule following person than I am. She does what is right Always. 

 

0:38:58 – Adam

I don’t or at least I haven’t. 

 

0:39:01 – Barnabas

I try now, but it’s been uh, yeah. So life has been oh and uh, and we also have. So in the midst of that, we also my middle daughter has her learner’s permit now, and so we we were able to get a used car for her, and so she’s in the midst of learning to drive. 

 

0:39:17 – Adam

So we’ve got, we’ve got one. Mike gets her permit like next week or the week after, like really soon. So I’m with you, man. 

 

0:39:23 – Barnabas

And she’s, she’s doing a fantastic job, but that’s not stressful, though. No, well, I mean. 

 

0:39:30 – Adam

Russell did first kid. 

 

0:39:32 – Barnabas

You know Lauren does more than I do Really. Okay, mostly because Lauren does a lot of like the running errands. Okay, because of our schedules on Sundays I tend to go to church. I’m at church early and then they come in later, so that’s a chance to drive. We live 25 minutes away, so she does a lot more of like the small trips. We took a family trip up to Michigan a couple of weeks ago, over the fourth, to visit Lauren’s family, and Diane, my daughter, drove a good chunk of the way there and back, and so I was. I was in. You know we’re all in the car, but I was the, I was the co-pilot and he was sitting back there being like stay in your lane. You had her drive the 4Runner I have. I don’t like to very often. That was one of the benefits of getting her a car early, so it’s a very early 16th birthday present. Yeah, because now we have a 13-year-old Toyota Camry that she can drive for the most part and, uh, a good car. 

 

Yeah, it’s reliable and also already has a couple dings in it, so she backs into something or whatever. Don’t worry about it, yeah. But so, yeah, it just feels like life is at sort of three very monumental phases all at the same time. We’re four weeks away from moving one child into college, we’re eight weeks into having one child exist and we’re in the midst of teaching another one how to be independent and go do stuff on her own. 

 

A little bit of just sort of disorientation at all times. Weird pivots between like changing diapers and then talking about financial aid, you know. 

 

0:40:58 – Adam

Man, this financial aid thing is so confusing, brother. So on this note, because I mean that is such a spread of life right now for you. But I just was thinking about this whole college thing and you and I both have a daughter going to college in August. Not, I mean, yours is a couple hours away. 

 

0:41:18 – Barnabas

Yeah, like an hour. Okay, so pretty close. 

 

0:41:20 – Adam

Mine’s like 15, 20 minutes. It’s not that far. How are you processing this? What’s this? How are you feeling about this? 

 

0:41:26 – Barnabas

So, all right, I have to say this carefully so as not to be insulting. 

 

0:41:30 – Adam

I mean, this is Grace, right? Yes, Okay, my daughter’s Audrey. 

 

0:41:33 – Barnabas

Yeah, so Grace is. I called her the other day a social pinball, like there are social butterflies and she’s like she’s that on energy drinks, oh I love that. So just kind of like waking up and just sort of gone from the house. You know she’s at work, she’s with friends, you know. So constantly, like all right, be sure you tell us where you are. Yeah, the, the, the summer transition from senior year in high school to college is a weird one, because the child lives in your home. It’s still under your roof but it’s like on the doorstep of. You don’t get to tell them anything, you know, and so trying to navigate. 

 

0:42:09 – Adam

Is she 18 yet? 

 

0:42:10 – Barnabas

She’s 18. Okay, yeah, she turned 18 towards the beginning of her senior year. 

 

0:42:13 – Adam

We just got that and starting to deal with the medical like you gotta get her permission to gain access to medical records and stuff, so that’s why I asked. So anyway, go ahead. 

 

0:42:22 – Barnabas

There’s just been this whole transition of giving you freedom but also looking at you and going you are a child, they don’t see themselves as children, but then also just realizing it’s not worth clamping down. You know, if a high school junior or sophomore is kind of running free, reining them in is probably wise, right. If somebody who’s about to head off college and when I say running free I don’t mean being crazy, I just mean like off on their own, kind of running their own schedule in the way that an 18-year-old would, yeah, but also in four weeks, she’s just going to do that constantly. So it is it worth the fight for the summer to to sort of constantly be at odds, or is it better to just figure out? And so we’ve had a lot of, I would say, frustrating but good conversations about me saying, look, I’ve never done this before, yeah, like you’re you’re, you’re my. I’ve never done this before, yeah, like you’re my guinea pig kid, as they have been their whole life, right, I know. 

 

And we’ve had that conversation too, like basically an apology for all the things I don’t know and I still don’t know. I would have done that differently. Sorry, babe, right, and she’s a very gracious person, as her name would indicate. So I would say that at this point I’m sure it will hit me when she moves out that like this is there’s, there’s a, there’s an absence right now. I’m very eager for her to go to college, because you can’t live in limbo Like she does not work, and she I think she would say this I don’t mean this as an insult to her she doesn’t work in the rhythm of the home because she doesn’t have any rhythm. She wants independence, she needs independence. 

 

And it’s the time for her to go figure it out and probably trip and fall a couple of times, as we all did, right, but then I suspect she’ll thrive, and so at this point that limbo needs to come to an end. I do think that it’s going to be a jarring like sort of silence, because she brings a lot of energy to the home, and just like walks in the house, talking, and like the sort of social energy, both joyful as well as occasionally chaotic, both go up right and, and you know so, walking by her room those first few weeks of like it’s a it’s neat which that’s new and b it’s quiet around here. 

 

Yeah is gonna be weird and so she will absolutely be missed. But for my part, I’m mostly very excited for her. Uh, on her behalf, and because this limbo stage is not my favorite, I I had a. I had a friend uh who he he has kids a couple years older than mine and we were talking about this and he said, have you heard the term soiling the nest? Nope, and I said no, and he goes okay, so it’s, it’s like it’s an allusion to like baby birds, when they need to, you know they’re, they’re, they’re about to be pushed out of the nest to fly, they basically just make a royal mess out of everything you know feathers and poop and all this stuff, and he said it’s also a term, used, terminology used for a child who’s about ready to move out, and they basically make life at home a mess. 

 

So for some it’s very contentious and Grace has not been super contentious. Others it’s just sort of like chaos. Yeah, like they, just like I said, they just don’t sort of abide within how this, this family, works right now. And so I would say she has, she has chaotically soiled the nest and so there’s there’s a real readiness and and, but it’s one of those things you know, talking about the way that the Lord works and things that you don’t see at first. I’m actually thankful for it, because it means that neither of us are going to be sort of clinging to the other when it’s when it is the right time, and it’s a good time for her to launch into what’s next. 

 

0:45:52 – Adam

Yeah, and it’s a sign that she’s ready to move on right, it’s a sign that she thinks she is. Yeah, I mean, I’m not saying anyone’s ever fully prepared, but it is a sign that she’s at that point in life where she’s ready to be independent which is what you’ve trained her for. 

 

Yeah, that’s been the goal. I think that’s part of my temptation is like, oh, I see you know X, y, z, that like, oh, what about that you know? Like, and it’s not that we don’t have discussions, we’ve had some fantastic discussions this summer but it’s also like I have to guard myself again. Okay, like Audrey’s about and, by the way, Grace sounds delightful, Audrey’s a fantastic person and I just like I, I need to be careful that I don’t try and fit what I think I missed or messed up in 17 plus years of parenting and try and fit it into the next four weeks. Um, because that’s my temptation, like, oh, I can fix this, when actually a lot of what’s from here on out is life learning. 

 

0:46:50 – Barnabas

Yeah, it has been. It is probably never more so than this. The last eight weeks have I experienced the difficulty of parenting transitions. You know there’s a bunch of analogies people use for parenting transitions. We, I think, we, I think we talked about these in one of those episodes as well. 

 

But that idea of moving from like nurse to drill sergeant, to coach, to cheerleader or whatever that you know, I feel like I’m moving from sort of coach to advisor, and that’s a hard one because the coach has the right to speak into somebody’s business whenever they want. But at this point I think that would be more costly than beneficial because I’m going to make her irritated, she’s not going to listen to me, it’s going to be wasted words. Uh, even if I’m right, it’s going to be sort of the wrong time, Um, and so you know, there’s an advisor aspect where it’s much more like hey, that’s a big decision. I have thoughts, If you would like them, just just let me know and we can talk about it. And we’ve had some of those conversations and it’s been, it’s been when it’s kind of on her terms, it’s better. 

 

0:48:00 – Adam

Yeah, no, I think that’s great. I think that’s true. I think, if you can wait for that opportunity where they’re looking for counsel and advice, and it sounds like Grace has come to you. At times, audrey’s come to us. 

 

0:48:08 – Barnabas

Not nearly as much as I think she should, but that’s that’s. That’s the transition right. 

 

0:48:12 – Adam

That’s. That’s part of learning and becoming your own self and making your own decisions, and it’s a tough thing. I think one of the things that I look at I look at her and I’m like, okay, like this next step, like I think she’s ready, like she is chomping at the bit, I think she’s prepared for what’s next. And I mean I’m not fully capable of preparing her for everything, but I feel like she is equipped in the ways that God has equipped her for what is next. And so I’m not like sitting at home and being like I don’t know if she can handle this, like that’s not a fear I have. 

 

I think my hardest thing is like what you kind of alluded to earlier, and that is just the change in the family dynamic. Yeah, because it goes from all five of us and all the things that we do together and everyone brings their own color to, you know the tone of the family. And then her not being there all the time, which I’m sure she’ll. You know we’ll see her fairly frequently cause she’s not far away. Um, but it’s just gonna be like that. I’m excited for her. I’m not so excited for me. 

 

0:49:22 – Barnabas

Let’s just put it that way which, but man isn’t that? Isn’t that the greatest parenting temptation to to do things towards your kids as it benefits you as a sort of vicarious living, or putting your expectations on your kids? Or I mean, it’s why the like. You know all the stereotypical mother-in-law jokes. You know because mother-in-laws are intrusive. 

 

0:49:44 – Adam

And what? All those mothers I have an awesome mother-in-law, by the way- yeah, I have a great relationship with mine. 

 

0:49:47 – Barnabas

She’s because she doesn’t fit those stereotypes. It’s because those mothers-in-law are doing things for their benefit, like oh, that’s my baby, and instead of being like let your children go, you know. And so, yeah, I think that temptation of kind, of the selfish orientation of parenting, remains very strong. I will say this about the family dynamic for us, because of the age difference between my daughters, they have been sort of frenemies for years. So graduate and going into sophomore year, so Okay, 15. 18, 15. 15. So about three years, that’s right. Our daughters are the same age, okay, and so they’ve been. They’ve been much more like frenemies than than like, oh, are you? People are like, oh, like you know, a couple of days a week maybe on average. 

 

And then a lot, of, a lot of loud conflict. Also, because that’s our personalities we’re loud and contentious, and so I think what I predict is that somewhere in the second half of Grace’s freshman year, things will begin to tip and the time they have together will be a lot more fun and like because they won’t annoy each other constantly right now, it’s like you’re breathing too loud, go away, stop existing in my presence, those kinds of things, and and so I think there will be an and you know, on the one hand, there’s a loss in the family dynamic and in the other hand, there is there’s the potential for like, oh, a whole new season of these. These two young women learn how to be like friend friends, not frenemy friends. Yeah, you know they’ll always get on each other’s nerves, but but, uh. 

 

0:51:18 – Adam

So maybe looking at it like a loss isn’t the full perspective. 

 

0:51:22 – Barnabas

Yeah, I think I think absence more than loss. You know there’s a, there’s a vacuum, yeah, but also that I think it’s part of that whole like what, what is what is happening in this process? And so we won’t get to see all the changes in Grace as she goes off and learns how to be a little bit more grown up on her own, independent, but she’ll bring it home with her and then, you know, we’ll have to learn some new things, Like when she comes home, how do house rules work, Because I’m still dad, it’s still my house. But also like I don’t get to just tell you what to do, like when you were 13. I don’t get to just tell you what to do, like when you were 13. And so I get to call my parents and be like hey, how did you guys handle this? 

 

0:51:59 – Adam

Because I don’t know what I’m doing. Well, when you figure it out, let me know. Okay. I mean, just shoot me a text, tell me what’s up. 

 

0:52:02 – Barnabas

Yeah, if anybody out there is genius, hit us up on the website and curiouscremudgeons.com and send us your best advice on handling college freshmen there we the first one’s out here. 

 

Well, I suspect we could probably continue talking about all sorts of things, because a lot has happened since we recorded last Life. Transitions are probably happening while we’re recording, but unbeknownst to us. It seems like that’s the pace of life these days. But, listeners, we just wanted to drop in sort of a bonus episode between season one and season two to let you know that we are still living and existing and planning on season two, and also just to talk to one another about all of these things that have happened and what you know, what the Lord has shown us, and have a little fun. We skipped the curmudgeon moment. I just got one for you. Okay, yeah, hit me up People backing into car. 

 

0:52:50 – Adam

I am a backer inner of cars all the time. A hundred percent, pretty much, are you. I am a backer inner of cars all the time, 100%. 

 

0:52:56 – Barnabas

Pretty much. Are you the getaway man for like a bank robbery or something Like. Why do you do this? I got trained young. 

 

0:53:01 – Adam

I just feel like I’d rather back in. It seems like it’s easier to get out that way, and I’m not trying to dodge people. 

 

It is easier to get out, it’s just not easier to get in, but it’s easier to dodge Like I can see the people easier when I’m backing in than I can backing out, because backing out there’s just a lot more to see. Now UPS requires it doesn’t matter if you’re driving their trucks, their cars, like as a salesperson, whatever, you are required to back in and you can get fired if you don’t. So there must be a reason here. What do you think? 

 

0:53:28 – Barnabas

I mean. So here’s the if you have a monster size truck like a UPS truck, you have a monster truck. No, a monster size truck like a ups truck, you have a monster truck, no, I don’t. Which I don’t, which is why I don’t back into things. The only time I ever back into a space is if I missed it, you know. So you’re driving on and you’re driving down between those are parking. 

 

You’re passing like oh there was one and I whip back into it. I don’t pull through. You know, if there’s two spots end to end, don’t? 

 

0:53:52 – Adam

pull through if it’s open. 

 

0:53:53 – Barnabas

why not? Well, two. One I usually want to be able to get in. Something wrong with you, no, something’s right with me, something’s wrong with everybody else. That’s the general curmudgeon stance. 

 

0:54:04 – Adam

Generally, I want to be able to get to my trunk so, like people who pull through, like the grocery store, you know if some other car pulls up behind your car you can’t get into where you need to live in this constant fear no, it’s not constant fear, it’s just annoyance, it’s just setting myself up for success they’re gonna pull in too close and I won’t be able to get my trunk the other thing is if somebody’s gonna hit you when you’re pulling out of a parking space, they’re gonna hit you. 

 

0:54:27 – Barnabas

I’d rather have them hit the back of my car than the front of my car well, I’m not worried about them hitting me, I’m concerned about me hitting. 

 

Oh, I’m not concerned about that, because I’m a good driver. Also, I have a backup camera. What’s your last ticket? What was my last time when, uh, a couple years ago? Okay, I don’t think speeding counts as bad driving, though. Oh, it doesn’t. No, okay, speeding. Speeding is just a tax. You’re dropping the website and vote on the speeding is just a tax on time. So if you speed regularly, you earn minutes, you? Oh, because you get everywhere, you earn yeah, you get everywhere badge. No, you accrue them, oh you get them back. 

 

I get yeah, everywhere, everywhere I go, I get there two, three, seven, fifteen, a hundred minutes faster. Depends on how long the trip is. 

 

0:55:11 – Adam

So if you get if you drive to work in the morning, you get there three minutes early. Drive home, you get there four minutes early. 

 

0:55:15 – Barnabas

You’ve just earned back seven minutes yeah, I got seven minutes back on my day and if you do that so that that’s 49 minutes a week. If you do that seven days a week, that’s almost an hour. 

 

0:55:25 – Adam

So so if you, after a couple years, you get a ticket and it’s 150 bucks, it’s like pennies on the mile yeah go, go. What’s the hourly rate there? You know, 0.0005 cents. 

 

0:55:35 – Barnabas

So speeding, not bad driving. That’s what I’m you know, here, there, here I stand okay we got it also. Uh, if speeding was as serious as people want to make it out to be, cops would treat it like it was serious. They do that with serious crimes. 

 

This is like a minor inconvenience to them, like you know when I pulled you over and I’m usually like, yeah, I was speeding and they’re like you were. Here’s a ticket for you know, going 15 over or whatever, and and it’s amenable, it’s totally fine and it happens rarely. Also, you can learn where the cops hang out so you get to avoid them. 

 

0:56:05 – Adam

There’s a lot there’s a lot of strategy here, all right. Well, hey, just don’t go over 20 in Virginia, because it’s a felony just automatically. If you are over 20 miles an hour over the speed limit in Virginia, you can be written up as a felony. They can automatically take you to jail. 

 

0:56:20 – Barnabas

I think 25 over anywhere is technically reckless driving. So it’s within their leeway. 

 

0:56:25 – Adam

It’s 20 in Virginia. Okay, Just your. You know, next time we get together there just give me a heads up. 

 

0:56:31 – Barnabas

No, I don’t those miles noted. No, I don’t I, that’s those miles are a little more expensive. I use cruise control to to keep a ceiling on my. Oh, what’s your ceiling on the freeway? It’s usually like 10 to 12 over max. Usually I keep it about nine over, because you know, nine you’re fine, 10 you’re dead. What is it? 10, yeah, whatever. 

 

0:56:46 – Adam

There’s an old rhyme about that, and 10 over six you’re fine, seven you’re mine. 

 

0:56:51 – Barnabas

Uh, that’s because you had really conservative parents or driving instructors. 

 

0:56:54 – Adam

That’s true on side streets from my ride along the police car when I worked at the police department. 

 

0:56:58 – Barnabas

But we’ll just, you know, off the interstate on like city streets I usually it’s like five over, okay for me. So yeah, I generally just close to the speed limit there in for a lot of reasons highways interstates interstates 10 over ish yeah, well, like if you got a several hour drive and you go 10 over the whole way, that’s a lot of minutes you just earned. Okay, so also get out of my way in the left lane people, I don’t know if we talked about that one already. 

 

0:57:21 – Adam

I’m all about you. I got your back 100%. About the left lane yeah, I’m with you there, but don’t take any of this as gospel. 

 

0:57:27 – Barnabas

No, this is yeah. No, we could probably get a ticket just for saying this stuff. I don’t know. You don’t know where I am, people, so you can’t find me. All right, listeners. Thanks so much for tuning in. Um, if you would be so kind as to jump on your favorite podcast platform, the one you’re listening to the show on right now, rate us, review the show. Uh, that helps other people find the show. It’s uh, it also makes adam feel really good about himself. It’s like a, it’s like a big, it’s like a big five-star hug, yeah. So if you could give us a rating and review so people can find the show. We are in the midst of planning and preparing to record season two. We will have a whole new theme and eight, maybe more, episodes. We’ll see how creative we get Coming a little bit later this fall. Thanks so much for listening. Glad you tuned in and stay tuned for season two. 

 

0:58:15 – Adam

Later.